Dear Alan,
I play for a pretty well known football club. I earn millions of pounds a year, am worshipped everywhere I go and get all the Persil I can eat (it tastes foul, but it's free, you know? It'd be rude to refuse).
However, there's another club that wants to pay me even more money but I won't be gaurannteed a first team place and I don't speak Spanish (in fact, I can barely speak English).
Should I stay or should I go?
Michael O